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The Erudite Human's Glossary of Oxymorons, Redundant Double-Talk, et al.
The Erudite Human's Glossary of Oxymorons, Redundant Double-Talk,
Language of Diplomacy & Other Forked Tongues


(learned; scholarly.) Also e- variant of ex- from; out of; beyond + rude
discourteous; impolite; without culture or learning; uncouth + ite adj. form, which = beyond uncouth? Kind of a one-word oxymoron, wouldn't you say?


(a human being hum-/homo- L humus earth; soil/Grk comb. form homos one & the same + L anus ring or form of an- belonging/pertaining to) Comes out "one and the same with asshole" doesn't it? Or maybe "dirty (soil-ed) asshole"? Sounds about right. Amazing what you can learn from the fine print in a dictionary, huh?


(a list of terms in a special subject, field, or area of usage, with accompanying
definitions. from Grk glossa tongue, language & L glossarium) All too often...
gloss superficial luster or shine; false, deceptive appearance + -ary L pertains
to = a handy reference wherein one can find just the right word to use to gloss over whatever needs false pertaining.


(oxy-, Greek combining form for "sharp; acute; keen; pointed" + moron, person of extremely low IQ, mental age 8-12; any stupid person lacking good judgement = word indicating a thing that is impossible, being self-negating. Grk oxy+moros = pointedly foolish) Frequently used in negotiating peace treaties, cease-fires, marriage contracts, divorce settlements & other pointedly-foolishly-sought, impossible-to-attain goals.


(unnecessarily repeated; superfluous; repetitive. Latin redundare to overflow) Use when once is not enough, the unbearable bears repeating &/or you can't have too much of a bad thing.


(evasive or ambiguous language; speech using nonsense syllables.) And of course, "redundant double-talk" is just twice as much of the same sneaky nonsense. Very popular with preachers, presidents and Popes, not to mention your average Joe explaining to the little woman why he's 3 days late getting home from work.


(communication by voice using arbitrary symbols in conventional ways with conventional meanings; communication of meaning in any way; faculty or power of speech. AF langue tongue + age pertaining to) Hmm-mm! "Tongue" from Ancient French... somethin' like wet, slobbery kisses 'n someone suckin' on your tonsils?


(the conduct by government officials of negotiations and other relations between nations; skill in handling people so that there is little or no ill will; tact. Grk diplos twofold. L diploma official document from Grk diplo a letter folded double) Ties in pretty well with government-sanctioned double-dealing, huh?

fork.ed tongue

(having forklike branches; zigzag, as lightning; expressing duality, insincerity or untruthfulness. L furca gallows, yoke) What descendents of America's original inhabitants accused the usurping settlers of their homelands of speaking with when making "deals" and "promises" to treat them "fairly". Considering the Latin root is gallows, it's too bad the forked-tongued weren't all hoist on same by their own petard! (a mixed-metaphor... look it up)

Okay, that takes care of the title. Now we'll tackle those terms in current popular usage that qualify as "entries". I leave you to distinguish oxymoron from redundant double-speak, forked tongue qualifiers from diplomatic tongue jobs. So our language won't languish, but evolve along with its users, obvious new terms follow each entry.

[Hope the alliteration's not a pain, it made looking up the words easier...& it's fun!]

ac.cept.a.ble loss

(acceptable capable or worthy of being accepted; satisfactory; pleasing to the receiver; agreeable; welcome. loss an amount or number lost; state of being deprived of something one has had.) "Welcome deprivation? Sound hinky-kinky to you, too?

A long-established, oft-used Pentagon euphemism for how many of their own people they can admit will be vaporized in a nuclear showdown and still get their next first-strike-capacity budget through Congress uncut. See, if we hit the other guy first, we'll get hit back by his missiles we can't take out on the first go-'round...got that? (We're talking about the Big Apple, Our Nation's Capitol, Hollywood, and Las Vegas, for cryssakes, not Topeka and Biloxi!)

And, since the "something" referred to by this term is LIVES, don't you think the "welcome" part indicates a certain, uh... is "disregard" strong 'nuff... for what's s'posed to be sorta sacred? 'Course the guys doin' all the red-button-pushing will be nice and safe down in their hidey-holes under Black Mountain, won't they? Guess that makes all the difference...

Clears the way though, for:
allowable accident; balanced bereavement; bearable body-count; commendable casualties; convenient chaos; countenanced corpses; decent distress; desirable demise; estimable extinction; favorable forfeit; meritorious martyrdom; OK'd obliteration; permittable privation; satisfactory sacrifice; tolerable theft; useful euthanasia; welcome waste...

to join "accepted" bad stuff already blurring moral lines, such as:
immovability of women's glass ceiling (Well, they can stay home 'n cook, can't they?); improving rate of teen-age pregnancy (No improvement for all the moms/babies-already-to-be!); rising/falling unemployment levels (No problem 'cept for folks who can't work/can't eat.); stable level of poverty (Hey, there's always gonna be some... right?); add your own here......

clean kill

(clean unstained; free from defect or blemish; characterized by a fresh, wholesome quality; honorable; having no moral blemish, carrying no taboo; dextrously performed. kill cause to die; deprive of life; to commit murder) So... fresh, wholesome murder. Only human language could come up with that one!

To the hunter, this means the poor innocent creature in question was murdered expertly, a well-aimed, perfectly-placed impact of bullet, buckshot or arrow taking away the life of a fellow living being, some four-legged parent or child who was simply doing what it could to keep on living in it's beautiful, natural world.

In police jargon, it's a legally-correct, judicially-justified shooting of (usually) an unarmed kid who was just reaching for a comb, when the officer(s), to save the life of partner(s) and/or innocent bystanders- never, of course, in fear of personal injury- out-drew the comb, adding a kilo or two of lead to the 12-yr-old's 78-lb frame with anywhere from 19 to 42 Police Special .38 slugs.

In Pentagonese, the term can refer to an un-retaliated "taking out" of an single plane, a missile-launching site, or an entire village of women, children, and men too old or infirm to be working enemies.

Provides ample precedent for:
blameless beheading; chaste carnage; decent destruction; exemplary execution; error-free extermination; flawless fratricide; good genocide; immaculate immolation; innocent infanticide; moral matricide; maidenly murder; neat knifing; pure patricide; sanitary suicide; sinless shedding of blood; sterile stoning; tidy life-taking; unadulterated untimely end; virtuous violent death;

and doing a brisk business in today's world, you'll find:
clarified remarks (politicos' lies to cover the original lies); clean bombs (kill only by burning alive, tearing apart, blowing to bits, no radiation... isn't that wonderful?); decontamination chamber (for the ones who make the clean bombs); governmental whitewash; sanitation team (CIA's blood 'n gore removal guys... saves the tax-payers worrying about what it is they're payin' for); spotless record (= a few rocks not turned over yet); unblemished reputation (ditto the spotless record!); and various 'n sundry other nice, conscience-comforting, "civilized" crimes.

eth.nic cleans.ing

(ethnic pertaining to a people, esp. a speech or culture group; belonging to cultural, racial, religious, or linguistic traditions of a people or country, esp. a primitive one; pertaining to non-Christians. cleansing to make clean, OE clene pure; clean.) Cleaning up non-Christians- + assorted others- a let's put a noose 'round the ring-around-the-collar mentality? Who's Mr.Clean?

Basically, you've got bunches of peace-lovin' folks wiping out other bunches of peace-lovin' folks, so they can peacefully enjoy what they consider their piece of earthly turf, with only their own kind anywhere in sight. This phenomenon usually has racial/religious/tribal overtones, in strict disregard for the fact that they're all basically the same... human...and nobody's ever had a deed to any part of terra firma.

Where the "dirt" part comes in, I've no idea. I mean, you've gotta be dirty to need cleansing, doncha? It galls me to hear everybody from Pope to presidents, to CNN newsies use this term... how'd they like to be talked about with a term that means they're dirty for just being whatever they are?

Leaves the door open for:[still working on this]

ho.ly war

(One bunch of god-lovin' folks followin' their Big Guy in the Sky's orders by wiping out bunches of other god-lovin' folks...)

If truly Supreme-sanctioned, this gives God's green light to lots of otherGod'll-say-it's-OK deeds, like:
blessed belligerency; celestial sin; clerical cannonade; devout depravity; divine dogfights; faithful fire-bombing; godly gung-ho; heavenly hostility; inspired incest; majestic militants; merciful massacres; moral murder; omniscient outrage; orthodox obscenity; pious police actions; Providential profanity; religious rape; reverent rioting; sacramental sin; sacred sosomy; saintly slaughter; sovereign sedition; spiritual slashing; theocratic theft; virtuous vice;

and has already granted deistic dispensation for:
chosen people; Christian duty; faithful followers; glorified guns; hallowed halls of Congress; inhumanity incarnate ; inspirational music (to die by, i.e., Onward Christian Soldiers, Battle Hymn of Republic, etc.); martyrs to misc. misplaced faiths; militant Christians; Messianic madmen; missionary position (VD gifts to the converted, were a bonus!); power of the almighty buck; priestly pedophilia; Puritan ethic; righteous anger; sectarian schisms; supreme injustice; zealous fanatics; and way too many other god-awful piles of pure, sanctimonious bullshit!

pre-nup.tu.al a.gree.ment

("What's mine stays mine and what's yours, I wouldn't even want"...only one party ever really "agrees" to this, the second party forced to sign on pain of not getting married to the party of the first part, with whom she [usually] is madly in love & can't live without)

Opens the door to: [still working on this]

sur.gi.cal strike

(precise, pre-programmed placement of bombs, missiles, other weapons of mass destruction, so as to kill only guys who're tryin' to kill you... doesn't work, usually wiping out more women 'n kids than military targets)

Gives the go-ahead to:
anaesthetic assault; analgesic attack; antiseptic assassination; balm bomb; beneficial battering; clinical clobbering; convalescent; cure-all combat; diagnostic destruction; dietetic deprivation; disinfectant decimation; doctors' death-dealing; fatal face-lift; first aid flogging; healing horror; healthy homicide; helpful hari-kiri; holistic hemlock; hygienic hatchetmen; intensive-care impact; life-saving liquidation; murderous massage; malevolent medication ; medicinal mayhem; obstetric overkill; pain-killing punches; punitive panacea; pharmaceutical phthisis; physicians' phosgene; prescriptive purge; prognostic poison; prophylactic punishment; prosthetic prejudice; reanimating ravage; regenerative raid; reconstructive rampage; remedial rape; restorative riot; resuscitating ruin; salubrious slaying; sanitary snuffing; therapeutic thrust; toxic therapy; tomb tonic; vital venom; wholesome whacks;

all of which can join the long-thriving:
atom-bomb antidotes; bacteriological warfare; clinical psychopaths; emergency measures; lunatic fringes; nuclear arms-nursing; operational imperatives; pathological lying; preventive strikes;

still in-the-works:

vir.tu.al re.al.i.ty

con.nub.i.al bliss

peace ac.cord

pol.i.ti.cal rhet.or.ic --- should go in title???

re.li.gious dog.ma

[to be continued???... can't for the life of me see why!]

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